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Fretting over buying a gift for that cranky, hyper-posh jerk on your list who has it all but will nonetheless berate you for coming up short during Secret Santa? Fret no more because this is your year. Just in time for the holiday season inside the world’s most expensive zip codes, Rolls-Royce launches the new “Pursuit Seat,” something of a basic, portable lean-stool like you could buy for around $100, only unconscionably jacked up to nearly $9,000. Happy holidays!

What good is having a database overflowing with “high-net worth individuals” if you can’t mine it to pitch marginally useful, ridiculously overpriced lifestyle goods that no one of sane mind and modest bank account would ever buy for a fraction the price? That seems to be why there’s such a thing as the Rolls-Royce Bespoke division and Rolls-Royce Boutique, and it’s certainly a factor in how the new Pursuit Seat came to be.

Rolls-Royce Bespoke designer Matthew Danton puts a more polished spin on the strategy: “We look to create accessories that enhance our clients’ lifestyles. Like every Bespoke commission, each detail of the Pursuit Seat has been minutely considered and meticulously designed, then handcrafted using the very finest materials.”

Rolls-Royce

“Seat” seems a bit of an overstatement for a swatch of leather stretched across a collapsible aluminum frame atop a single, height-adjustable leg made largely from fibers of carbon (sounds more Rolls-Roycey that way). Best case scenario, one will be able to rest all their weight on it for a few seconds while straddling it like a horse saddle – more often, they’ll find themselves resting weight and maintaining balance with the legs while “flying a drone, painting a landscape or simply pausing to take in the view,” as Rolls envisions.

Rolls-Royce

It doesn’t benefit from the stability of three or four legs, but the Pursuit Seat relies on a flared aluminum ferrule at its leg base to serve as a more stable foundation on hard surfaces. When the ground is softer, a deployable spike pops out and digs in. And when that fancy spike isn’t gouging someone else’s lawn, it can protect the Pursuit owner’s. Should wayward neighborhood youths so much as cast a peripheral glance at his front yard, and not be adequately deterred by the mere waving of the cane-like Pursuit and yelling of obscenities, a quick flash of that spike should send them scurrying off instantly.

As if all that isn’t a bargain at twice the price, the Pursuit Seat is even something of a multitool. A concealed flashlight remains readily accessible in the crease of the hinge, meant to illuminate one’s path back to the Cullinan or Phantom when landscape-brushing or drone-piloting runs past sundown.

Rolls-Royce

Back at the car, the packed Pursuit Seat fits like a glove inside the slide-out Recreation Module available for the Cullinan’s tailgate. And those who don’t have Cullinans? Well, they’ll surely want to add one to their RR collections and escape the embarrassing fate of driving around with their fancy stick-seats just laying out there on the load floor for all to see.

Rolls-Royce

It’s not that we’re not impressed by Rolls-Royce’s dedication to “post opulence” here, but £6,581 (before tax, approx. US$8,800) just seems an awful lot for an awkward, uncomfortable porta-stool. You could buy an exceptionally nice portable chair and hire a butler to carry it and set it up for you for far less. Or, cut out the middle man and pay to sit atop the crouched butler.

Source: Rolls-Royce